Closure

Closure, By Larry Quartley

Monday, June 14, 2010: Camden North London.

She woke with a start, rolled onto her side and looked at the clock on the mantel – 11.37 p.m.

How much longer? she thought.

Self-loathing ran thick and heavy through her veins.

When he called earlier, to say he’d be home late, it took all her inner strength not to blurt it out then and there. Frightened maybe, but what she had to say, needed to be said to his face.

She wanted to tell him the truth. Look into his eyes, then she’d know…

Fuck.

She swung her legs off the sofa, praying the love of her life would find it in his heart to forgive her. She picked the remote up off the floor and silenced the old black-and-white movie which had caused her to doze off to sleep.

Today, a little after five o’clock, her world started to implode. First she was threatened by her employers, then sacked from a job and lifestyle she’d been hiding behind for too long…

She knew then, that one day soon, he would find out too.

She’d prayed: Please not before I have a chance to explain… Better for it to come from her. Then maybe, they could get on with the rest of their lives…

She rose to her feet, disorientated, body swaying, lungs burning, knees buckling. She folded at the waist, grabbed her thighs for balance, then gasped for air in the claustrophobic surroundings.

Slowly, she walked over to the lounge window, pressing her forehead onto the cool glass and looked on to the empty street below. She felt the warmth of her breath bouncing off the glass and settling lightly on her left cheek.

Goose bumps broke across her sticky skin.

She felt the rush of blood swelling in her chest, feels it as it floods through her veins, her arms, her legs. Felt the weight of her body dragging her down…

Closes her eyes for a moment, then opens them again.

She places her palms on the cool surface of the windowsill and pushes herself up. Feels the emotions of the day, pushing hard against taut flesh; feels the pulses at her temples – beating louder, faster – her head ready to explode.

After a long moment, Stella Kerr turned around. Standing tall, she straightens her back and walks purposefully to the bathroom.

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