A Tiny Feeling of Fear

M Jonathan Lee

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chapter one

Firstly, I’d just like to thank each and every one of you for attending today. It is much appreciated.

Before we begin, I’d like to introduce myself.

Or at least one of myself.

My name is Andrew Walker.

So, why are we here? Actually, wait a minute. This isn’t one of those questions about the earth or the sun or creation or humankind. I’m not asking the kind of question that our forefathers have struggled with century after century, the story of Christ or how many stars are in the galaxy or whether there is life on other planets. No, it’s a little closer to home. Well, much closer, in fact. I’m talking about you and me. Me and you. Why are we here?

I can answer half of that question. The reason I am here. That’s the easy bit. I’m here to tell you what it’s like to be me. I want to tell you everything because I’ve never told anyone my secrets before. I’m hoping that being honest with you may just save my life. And perhaps yours. Also, I can’t think of anywhere else to turn.

My everyday experiences are mundane. I get up each morning and drive to work. I drive home each evening. I have my weekends off. I eat. I breathe. I sleep (sometimes). However, the other one of me is far more complicated. He follows me everywhere I go. He lives inside of me, you see. He causes feelings so strong that I truly feel they will burst out from within and devour me on the spot. His power is so, that I feel if you looked carefully you could see visible dents appearing in my chest from his continuous internal pounding.

So there you go. I’ve answered half of the question, the bit about why I am here. The other part is more difficult. The part about why you are here. I can’t help you with this question. You are the only one who knows. For whatever reason, you’ve decided to open my story and have a look inside. And now you’ve found the opening page interesting enough to read to here.

And now to here.
And now to here.
And now to here.

(I realise that if the above pattern continues, it’s unlikely we’ll go on much further together, so I’ll stop there.) Anyway, our paths have now crossed. We are now intrinsically linked. And we have a journey to take together. I am so pleased that you’ve chosen to join me. I hope you will listen and promise, at least at this stage, to try not to judge me. Oh, and try to keep up. In return, I promise to be truthful throughout and tell you absolutely everything. I am hoping that by sharing this there is some salvation for me.

I hope that I live until I have finished my story.

That you don’t find me dead a few chapters in (y’know, just as the story is getting going).

This is my story.

So come on, or you’ll miss the start.

A Tiny Feeling of Fear Description:

Blurb:

I’ve made a decision to become the only person on the planet to become completely truthful about everything. I’ve never told anyone my secrets before. I’m hoping that being honest with you may just save my life. And perhaps yours.

This third novel by Jonathan Lee takes the reader through the many insecurities we all experience, through the eyes of Andrew Walker, an ordinary guy with an extraordinary twist to the tale.

Sunday Times best-selling author Milly Johnson describes the book as ‘original and inspired’.

Jonathan is working closely with MIND and Rethink mental health charities to raise awareness of mental health issues.

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