Jeanne went out on deck as the spring sun broke through the clouds. A warm glow spread over green and gold jewel-like Herm and its larger neighbour, grey and white building encrusted Guernsey. The salt-laden air enveloped her like an old and trusty coat. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and was a child again, playing on the beach with her parents. The image was so powerful that tears formed and she blundered, unseeing, towards the railings.

As her vision cleared she found herself staring at Herm and, without warning, was overwhelmed by such a strong feeling of fear that she had to hold onto the rail.  Jeanne’s heart began to race, blood pounded in her head and her breathing came in short, painful gasps.  Oh my God, what’s happening to me? After all this time, please, not again! Struggling to breathe she was on the verge of passing out. Letting go of the rail she stumbled, crashing into a man who was walking past.

‘Hey, steady on!  Look where you’re going!’ he said angrily, grabbing hold of her to stop them falling. ‘Overdid the duty frees, did you?’ Stung by his accusation, she took a deep breath before replying. ‘No . . .no. I. I just lost my balance.’  The man’s hands were gripping her arms so hard that she could already imagine the bruises.  ‘Hey, that hurts!’ He loosened his grip and guided her back to the rail where she clung on, filling her lungs with the sea air.

‘Sorry, didn’t mean to hurt you. OK now?’

Jeanne nodded. As the man stepped back she took in, through still blurred eyes; dark brown hair, deep blue eyes and the muscled arms of a man unlikely to be a pen-pusher. Responding to his slightly warmer tone, she managed a tight smile before straightening up and walking, unsteadily, to the starboard side.

What on earth was that?   Is this what I can expect now? Perhaps I shouldn’t have come back, though I didn’t have much choice .  . .  The thoughts whirled around her pounding head.  She shuddered as she leant against the railings and Guernsey came into full view.  While the ferry headed towards St Peter Port harbour, she felt as if she were approaching a strange, unknown country rather than the land of her birth.  The whole of the northern sea front, from Les Banques into St Peter Port, had been transformed.  Towering edifices of granite and glass had replaced the old, tired mish-mash of warehouses, scruffy hotels and shops. With a gasp, she realised that even the elegant landmark of the Royal Hotel had been supplanted.