1 – Sir James’s Story

Beginnings

I grew up motherless. That is not to say my mother was dead. ‘Conspicuous by her absence’ was the phrase I heard my father use as I listened at keyholes in hope of answers. Theirs was a lengthy marriage. The fact that she chose to take no part in it didn’t detract from his sense that she was his wife. Yes, he had frequent lady friends, perfumed, interchangeable. None replaced her. My mother remained the love of his life – except, that is, for racing cars, an open stretch of road and, of course, the lure of speed.

I couldn’t help but feel I must have done something terrible to cause her to go, but my father frequently assured, “You were hardly capable of anything more ghastly than crying too loudly. Or too often. No, it was me your mother left.” But he failed to provide an adequate explanation of his crime, claiming to have bought her the best money could buy, even allowing her to pursue her career – against his better judgement. What was I to think?

“Think of the boy!” I shrank into my seat at the sound of my grandfather’s bullish proclamation over the cut-glass and cruets. “I can’t understand why you don’t divorce her.”

My father slowly applied a napkin to one corner of his mouth. His response was measured, dry: “I wouldn’t expect you to.”

“Frankly, I never understood why you had to marry her in the first place!” Never one to waste time listening to the other side of an argument, the older man forked food into his mouth as if his was the last word.

“I know you’d have preferred me to throw in the towel with some obedient little debutante, but,” and here my father turned his focus to me, exaggerating the width of his cow-brown eyes, “your mother was exciting. And very beautiful.”

My grandfather inhaled his Claret, spluttering, “Excitement! That’s not what one looks for in a wife!”

“‘Til death us do part was the promise I made. And I haven’t managed to kill myself yet.”

“Despite your confounded tomfoolery! Look here, in my day a man would have taken a woman like her -”

My father coughed a loud protest.

“Do you dare censor me? One can only hope,” my grandfather’s eyes singled me out, flashing terror into my soul, “young James here will learn from your mistakes!”

“Son.” I found my hair being ruffled, my father’s voice assuring, “Don’t listen to anyone who tells you it’s a mistake to marry for love.”

I Stopped Time on Amazon US or I Stopped Time on Amazon UK

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