Olive Branch (joy comes in the morning)

Chapter one- Can Sinners Enter?

The room is dark: I cannot see a thing his hands all over me. I feel good, wish this was my husband. We both belong to someone else. His hands large and they grasp every part of my body; I feel like a woman, my body yearns for more. I know it is wrong, but I crave the affection of real love. I cannot explain it. I know what I feel.

My heart beats faster with every touch. It seems so right: my husband is cold and distant, and we have fallen apart. Our love has faded, I can’t remember the last time he said I was beautiful, he works seven days a week sometimes he comes home and never says hi, we go months without sex or affection. His devices have become his wife. We do not even kiss it is as if we are strangers.

For years, I dreamed of another man loving me and holding me the way I wanted to be held, I even thought of meeting people online. I cannot remember the last time he held me or even said he loved me, we argue all the time over anything, the arguments are so petty, one time we argued over a wine display in the kitchen, and this was enough to have him sleep on the couch for three weeks I do not know where we went wrong.

Here I am now forty and sleeping with a man who is ten years my junior, was I a pedophile? I ask that question because at one point my husband was in fourth grade while I was in twelth , and there was a secret part of me who wanted to groom him into the man I wanted him to be not the man he would soon become. I began to ask myself was I leaving my husband for the wrong man.

He knows I am married, but he doesn’t care, he says what my husband don't know won’t hurt but if my husband finds out what will he think? Will he even care? Let me start from the beginning my name is Faith and my husband is Josh.

When we met he was handsome, I mean I thought he was the ideal man.