July Seventh was a night full of pain and afterbirth for my poor mother. She gasped, clutched and sweated while strange men inserted medieval devices into her vagina, “ripping me straight to my asshole,” as they mercilessly tried to dislodge my aberrantly large head. My poor mother— for all of her pain and suffering, she had me; my poor mother.
I was not exactly what you would call a handsome boy. As mentioned, my head was and still is twice the girth of any normal cranium, and my eyes, a deep brown, are set low and at the bulge of my nose, giving me a habitual idiotic expression. I was born with the Caucasian trump, practically albino and with a bushel of silver white hair to accompany my silver white eyebrows. I landed in this world an old soul and with my head of white and eyes of bronze, I intended to gorge on life to its very end.
“What's the matter with him, what's wrong with my baby?” poor mother yelled at the time of my delivery.
The doctors, who were virtually clueless on the movement of evolution, shifted eyebrows, huddled together and deduced Down Syndrome…that was pretty much the end. However, and with incredulous temerity, I continued to age.
I am sad to note that none of my abnormalities cleared up, neither medically nor miraculously, and that I am not the ugly duckling, just plain ugly. This is not my fault, but through your disgrace, it has become my sin. Though it must be mentioned that I do not blame my inappropriate appearance for my horror-filled conclusion, as I see now that it was I who allowed these things to happen; but I am confident that no matter the end, love would have been a tough battle for me since the time of my conception.
The story goes like this, mother was a single, overweight woman, and my father, who I have no recollection of, was just some drunk slouch with three inch beer goggles.
Severely Savant Description:
Milton is an intelligent, albeit sarcastic person who, due to his physical appearances, is misdiagnosed with Down Syndrome. Consistent with the socially ignored and disregarded, Milton is pulled through life by the scruff of his low self-esteem by those who would use this medical oops to their own evil ends.
First by his poor mother, who perpetuates the lie to advance her career and then later by the psychopath Billy, who uses Milton in his violent search for fame and glory.
Follow Milton as he documents with a comical and always opinionated perspective his bizarre existence and discovers how deeply buried beauty really is. If you liked Confederacy of Dunces or Kurt Vonnegut, you will love this outrageous, over the top novel by an exciting new author.
