Anz World
Husband, Scott, lost his car keys and wallet for the third time this week.
Daughter, Erika, was late for tennis lessons.
Daughter, Jamie, was practicing back flips in the kitchen.
Son, Tom, was searching in the trash can for his $600 retainer.
Son, Mike was telling an angry neighbor that it couldn’t have been our dog splashing in his expensive koi pond. The dog was soaking wet and splattering mud all over my new carpet.
Son, Justin, needed his skates sharpened before a hockey game in ten minutes, and we lived twenty minutes away.
The dog threw up Koi pond slime on the kitchen floor and the cat’s newly arrived kittens were learning to walk. Yes, in the kitchen.
Just then the phone rang. My mother-in-law was calling to share a few cleaning tips. She also instructed me, “Write this down. It’s my lamb chop recipe that Scott loved when he was little. I think your kids need more protein.” She fed him lamb chops every blessed day for lunch. I was about to snap! My mind was spinning. A hot flash was forming like a thundercloud. I seriously needed an escape.
That was the day I invented Anz World. It’s a place in my mind which is so peaceful and serene that some days I never want to leave. This is my special retreat, my only refuge from real life, and only I have the key. I can simply take a few deep breaths, close my eyes and knock on serenity’s door. Okay, to be honest, sometimes I have to lock myself in the bathroom to get some quiet.
Unlike my messy house full of kids and cats and dogs, a hamster, a duck, a lizard, a pet snake, and the crickets the lizard didn’t eat, Anz World is tidy and clean. It looks like HGTV surprised me and decorated my world. The sky is crystal blue with wispy clouds that resemble angel’s wings. There is a gentle island breeze. I have sheer white curtains that billow at the open
windows when the breeze blows.
My hot flashes disappear. So do my wrinkles and cellulite. My face loses years of stress and I barely recognize myself. I look like a goddess! My short hair is long and luxurious, and my highlights sparkle in the sun. I never ever need a pedicure. Did my mention that I am tan and toned? My tan accentuates my newly whitened smile. Seriously in this place in my mind, I am a true goddess.
In my perfect world, Kenny Chesney and Michael Buble’ are singing in the background. It’s always my favorite songs and I sing along while I admire my new firm and tan legs. Seriously I can’t get enough of them!
It’s in this place that I can contemplate life. I have time to reminisce and look at the lighter side of my world. I’d had a dream to write a book and finally after hiding in Anz World, I was able to refocus my energies and bring it to fruition. That’s how I birthed, “How I Earned My Wrinkles…Musings on Marriage Motherhood and Menopause”
I’m hoping this helped you realize that you can also escape to your nirvana. Take a few deep breaths, eyes closed, feel your breathing slow down. You are entering your new world now.
Do not fall asleep or you will miss those tan, toned legs in your new world.
Call me when you get there. We can meet for tea, or a glass of wine. I would love that!
How I Earned My Wrinkles…Musings on Marriage, Motherhood and Menopause Description:
This book is for every woman who:
Accidentally bought a maternity bathing suit, and proclaimed it was the best suit of her life.
Called her GYN, thinking it was the dentist office, and reported she has a large cavity that needs filling.
Confuses her age and bra size. Thirty six was a wonderful year for me!
This book is filled with love, laughter, memory loss, estrogen, lack of estrogen, hot flashes, pure confusion and I forget what else.
