This may be the only rule that has close to a hundred-percent effectiveness virtually immediately. While explaining the rule to parents in my office, I go into the waiting room, take my doctoral diploma off the wall, and hand it to them. I vow that if the method doesn’t work, I will give them my diploma the next time they come in.
The diploma still hangs on the wall.
The instructions in the family meeting are for parents to tell the children that fighting, yelling, and complaining in the car are a distraction to your attention and to safe driving. Therefore, the rule will be: “The car will not move during fighting. If you start to fight, yell, or cry while I am driving, I will pull the car over as soon as it is safe to do so. The car will not move until there is silence.”
When the children are quiet, the car moves. It is nearly a fact of nature that children do not like to be in a vehicle that is not moving. Rarely will children continue the argument for more than one or two minutes. As part of the conflict, one of the children may start kicking the back of your seat to gain your attention. Pull over, turn off the engine, get out a book or magazine (always have reading material in the car), and start reading.
Guinness World Records reports that the longest period recorded that children will tolerate the car not moving is three minutes and twelve seconds. (I made that up, but it sounds believable, doesn’t it?)
Dr. Pressman is a board certified family psychologist. For several decades he has been helping parents who are concerned about their children. He also enjoys treating young children and teens, doing research and writing books to help parents. See his latest guide for parents available here.
